Current mood:

nostalgic

Round two
As I mentioned in the previous entry, I developed a crush on Ralph as a teenager. I looked forward to going to work so I could talk to him. I got the same job the next summer, and the summer after that, so I could be near him. We became great friends. We spoke to each other in a way that mystified other people, like we had our own language that nobody understood but us. And as I got older, the attraction clearly became mutual. He would bring me odd little presents that he knew I'd appreciate (a scrap of hideous wallpaper, a fast food kid's meal toy). He would do things like come into my little office in the morning so I could run the back of my hand over his freshly shaved cheek. He was always so proud of a good clean shave - he would present his face for inspection, I would give it my approval, and he would thank me and walk away grinning. Hey, I said he was strange.

Soon I graduated high school and went off to college. Well, I didn't exactly go "off" - college was just a few miles from the old workplace, and I commuted from my grandparents' house. I would visit often on my way home after class. One rainy day, I left my car's headlights on for hours in the university's parking lot and burned out the battery, and called my mother to get some help. She sent Ralph to rescue me, and he arrived in his big old pickup truck, the cab of which was covered in stickers (mostly that his little son put there). He jumpstarted my car and I swooned like the proverbial damsel in distress being rescued by her knight in shining armor.

College was a crazy time. I started dating a guy who I honestly thought was a moron, but stuck with just for the hell of it. I worked two jobs and slept maybe three hours each night. Then, during one completely unbelievable week, I found myself jobless, dumped, and dropped out of school. There's a story there, but that's not what's important. The important thing is that I suddenly found myself in need of a full-time job, and applied at the old company. They hired me as a Public Relations Assistant.

At first, everything was great. Both of my parents worked there, my best friend worked there, and I got to see Ralph every day. I took up smoking just so I could take smoke breaks with him, so I could stand there on the tiny concrete back porch and be close to him, breathe his smell, be weird with him. The crush became unbearably intense. The daily shaved-face-tests now came with an almost visible electric ZAP of sexual energy. We both had always observed our friendship in a fairly intimate but non-touchy way - we didn't hug, we didn't give pats on the back. I came to realize that this was probably for the best, because each time we touched it was like being struck by lightning.

More later.